Roly Polys and Fireflies

As we count down the days until our newly planned move date, I can't help but feel a deep nostalgia for most everything in my current surroundings. I looked out across the corn field (the last in our area for miles) the other night, and I saw one of the surest signs that summer is here: shimmering fireflies. It led me to recall fond memories of childhood--catching fireflies in my hands and watching them flicker. I thought about how Sam will want to catch them pretty soon, too. But then I wondered if they have fireflies (I really call them "lightning bugs," but "fireflies" sounds more poetic) in Belgium.

It's interesting to watch Sam as he discovers all the things in this world. Just the other day, he reached out his fisted hand in my direction. Out of habit, I held out my open hand, palm up, to him. Oh, lovely. He gave me a live roly poly. It reminds me of the story a distant acquaintance shared regarding an early morning wake-up call in which her dog brought her a gift. Unfortunately for her, canines have limited avenues for procuring presents. I'm sure you can guess that the surprise was a dead rodent.

I guess I shouldn't neglect to admit that I have felt relief that I won't have to deal with the abundance of rude, Chicagoland drivers for some time. I don't think Belgian drivers are quite as rude. While I was in Belgium, there were some traffic jams, but I'm hoping the traffic conjestion won't be so endemic.

Well, I must be off. There are still many good-byes to say--to people and to the familiarity of Illinois. There are many things that I do not even realize I am going to miss. I will just try to take it all in--minute by minute, day by day.

I don't know

Or as they say in French, "Je nas sais pas." When are we leaving? Je nas sais pas. When will we get the work permit and our visas? Je nas sais pas.

It's difficult to live in such an uncertain world. We're used to being able to make plans and feel comfortable. Now I feel as though I am spiraling out of control. Nothing is in my control. Someone wants to come see the house when I have company, Sam is taking a nap, and there is food being delivered in 15 minutes? Well, great!

At our cultural training, they talked about the stages you go through after you move to another country. You have a honeymoon period where everything is new and exciting. Then you have a bit of a revelation and you get a little depressed. Then you recover a little. Then you plunge into an abyss of depression for a little while. I asked the trainer, "What about the time period before you move? Aren't there peaks and valleys there?"

The best advice I have gotten so far is that I can't over-compare the U.S. to there. I need to see what I'm experiencing as an adventure.

I have a feeling, I am going to need to see the next couple months (or however long) here as an adventure, too. There may be a period of time where we have no furniture and where Sam and I are living with my parents.

Hey, why not start today? Every day is an adventure with an 18 month old!

In the beginning...

It's a little difficult to figure out what exactly I want this blog to be. I am pretty sure I want to keep it, since I'm going to have so many new experiences coming up. But....who do I want to share it with? Will anyone even read it.... And if they do, will they really care?

What do I reveal? Do I remove my "mask"? --You know, the way we portray ourselves to others. Do I let my true self shine through as much as possible?

I don't want to come across as someone whose life is nothing but bliss. Yeah, I am going to be living in Europe, and I'm going to get to see a lot of new things, but I don't want everyone to think I'm bragging about my situation. I really just want to "connect" with you. I want to tell you about the things I see and do. I want to be free to talk about the things that are really cool or just interesting. I also want to be able to complain about the things that really suck.

You will probably roll your eyes at my corny-ness, but that's okay. I know I'm corny...and highly sentimental. I'm fairly intelligent, but I'm not a genius, so I might not have too many mind-blowing epiphanies that you haven't already realized.

Just as long as you understand that I don't really know what I'm doing with this blog...and that I'm not promising to be original, we'll be okay.

I want to be candid, and I want to "me", but like I said before.....how much "me" I am in this blog will depend on how it morphs throughout time.